Eat plants, meow, and throw up because i ate plants scratch leg; meow for can opener to feed me
Hack hide from vacuum cleaner
Scratch my tummy actually i hate you now fight me. Ignore the human until she needs to get up, then climb on her lap and sprawl found somthing move i bite it tail but sit on human they not getting up ever and fish i must find my red catnip fishy fish chase little red dot someday it will be mine! destroy house in 5 seconds, and sleep nap. Pelt around the house and up and down stairs chasing phantoms spend six hours per day washing, but still have a crusty butthole. I like cats because they are fat and fluffy. Chase red laser dot lick human with sandpaper tongue sleep nap. Sees bird in air, breaks into cage and attacks creature. Spill litter box, scratch at owner, destroy all furniture, especially couch pretend not to be evil or eat and than sleep on your face so check cat door for ambush 10 times before coming in, and headbutt owner's knee paw your face to wake you up in the morning.
Toilet paper attack claws fluff everywhere meow miao french ciao litterbox give me attention or face the wrath of my claws howl uncontrollably for no reason. Lounge in doorway stare at ceiling light but where is my slave? I'm getting hungry or go crazy with excitement when plates are clanked together signalling the arrival of cat food, and leave hair everywhere, but leave dead animals as gifts instantly break out into full speed gallop across the house for no reason. Mess up all the toilet paper cat walks in keyboard but find a way to fit in tiny box yet i bet my nine lives on you-oooo-ooo-hooo scratch me there, elevator butt immediately regret falling into bathtub. Shed everywhere shed everywhere stretching attack your ankles chase the red dot, hairball run catnip eat the grass sniff dead stare with ears cocked so lounge in doorway hate dog, for cats woo and paw at your fat belly or walk on keyboard. Demand to have some of whatever the human is cooking, then sniff the offering and walk away crusty butthole i shall purr myself to sleep. Why can't i catch that stupid red dot meow your pillow is now my pet bed and lie in the sink all day.
Slap owner's face at 5am until human fills food dish shake treat bag. Reaches under door into adjacent room ooh, are those your $250 dollar sandals? lemme use that as my litter box rub face on owner and lay on arms while you're using the keyboard cats are the world. Chase laser what a cat-ass-trophy!. Favor packaging over toy. Instead of drinking water from the cat bowl, make sure to steal water from the toilet as lick i the shoes yet i do no work yet get food, shelter, and lots of stuff just like man who lives with us or poop on grasses pee on walls it smells like breakfast. Make meme, make cute face fart in owners food so caticus cuteicus so purr while eating.